Yup, you read that title right, this anxious lady is now an anxious mama. No I'm not going to say mom to be, because once you know there is a small being growing inside you, you are a mom; at least in name! Go ahead argue with a sick and already hormonal woman, I dare you.
I'm just now 8 weeks, let me tell you it feels the same as 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks....miserable. The upside is I have not been puking my guts out like I feared, but being constantly nauseous is still in the recipe for being miserable. To finish off the recipe for misery is utter exhaustion, working full time, feeling generally crappy, and just being plain worn out. Imagine having the flu (runny nose included) for (so far) 8 weeks straight.
That moment of joy/excitement/fear when I got that test with 2 very visible pink lines is already distant memory drowned by the miserable recipe. It is truly a nightmare to feel this bad and to completely feel drained of any excitement. I simply do not have the energy to think about what to buy for baby or me, to plan for the future we are embarking on, or really do anything! I had heard about morning sickness, I heard about being tired....No amount of warning truly prepares you for this. Granted understand that this is my journey, yours may be (bless you) worse or nothing like mine( I will envy any/all women you do not go through this).
Now don't misunderstand me, my ramblings will get more cheerful (I hope) as I reach this mystical 12 week time frame, where the heavens open, sprinkle me with angel dust and allow me to feel like I have been wrapped in rainbows, renewing me with energy, taking away my nausea, replacing it with a glow.....obviously I am being just a tiny bit skeptical, "wait till the 2nd trimester" or " it gets better around 12 weeks", all I can see is I'll believe it when I can accomplish more than feeding and dressing myself (yes I am still wiping myself sheesh).
Did I mention that despite all this I am still excited to meet this lil one? I've decided all women are engineered with a certain level of amnesia...think about it, by the time this lil one is in my arms my guess is I will magically forget how miserable I am right now or how much pain I was probably just in. Women would have to be built this way, or the species would have died out long ago, or some scientist would have found a way for men to carry babies....because I'm sure they could handle it so much better ; )
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