Blah Blah Blah

Ever feel like blah blah is all you really hear? Like you are Charlie Brown listening to his teacher? It seems the things I do not want to hear or really talk about, I just minimize to the blah, blahs...I must say that is not a good idea any any relationship in your life...yet on the flip side I often feel like the Charlie Brown teacher, like I'm the one blah,blahing..just repeating the same things over and over. I also feel like a tape player (yes I remember those and even still own a walkman-thank you very much) on fast forward where everything coming out of my mouth is too fast and too high pitched! It is usually when the nerves hit, it is like a tape player and the blah blahs when the depression sets it. It never ceases to amaze me how our emotions and moods effect our behaviors and  it also works that other way around. Think about it, you are in a great mood strolling around the house when you stub your toe, then hit your head, or slam your hand into the door..Now you are in a bad mood. Then in the reverse you are in a bad mood grumbling about your day when you slip and fall flat on your A$$- then you burst out laughing. It is always the little things that can make or break your day! 
To get back to the blah blahes- it always makes me feel worse- how does tuning out what you don't want to hear make you feel worse? Is it the guilt of ignoring someone? Or is it the realization that you may have missed something? Are we angry because we didn't listen or angry that all we had to comeback with was our own blah blahs...Grr I hate that! I sadly miss some of my teenage angst- where I could come back with a retort to just about anything at the drop of a hat. Now I kind of sit there with a blank look on my face..now granted that has its own element of fear...ha..ha, but it is that flailing feeling- like some how I just got the rug pulled out from under me..hate that feeling- how is the best way to recover from that? I know a quick retort is the wrong way- but at least I felt in control that way..some how sitting stone face doesn't work...so how to turn the blah blahs into real words? real conversations?